The Museum of Idolatry

Is Church Whack?

Can someone please translate this sign for us? We don't speak this language.

Pigskin Church

Does your man prefer watching football on Sundays rather than going to church? Well, now there's a church that combines football and church.

Hebrews Coffee

"Relevant" Pastor For Sale on eBay - Cheap!

So-Called "relevant pastors" are a dime a dozen now-a-days. The church market has been flooded by life coaches claiming to be 'out of the box' pastors. Things are so bad that you can now purchase relevant pastors on eBay for really cheap.

In fact, one of these relevant pastors put himself and his entire family for sale on eBay and they sold for only $3,383.33.

Pretty soon you won't even be able to give away one of these 'relevant' pastors.

Sex, Money and Power Will Fill Those Empty Seats ** Updated **

Here is a copy of the Easter marketing piece that Perry Noble and New Spring Church sent out this year.

These sermons sure sound like they'd be relevant but couldn't people get this information from Oprah or Dr. Phil? Why is a church preaching about such topics? Shouldn't this church and others be preaching the scriptures and focusing on Christ and His Cross?

We hope that the women at New Spring stayed home during this series. It was clearly not for them.

** Update ** we've learned from one of the assistant pastors at New Spring that the church paid extra to have these postcards 'debossed' so that people could 'feel the fishnet stockings on the woman's legs featured on the postcard'. (just let that thought sink in)

Click on the photos to enlarge them.

X Rated Site or Church Series?

How controversial are all these Sex Sermons that all these seeker-sensitive churches are doing?

Well that all depends on how you look at it.

Did you know that the churches that are doing these Sex Sermons are also the ones manufacturing the controversy?

It's true. Here is how the chain of events works.

1. Seeker-Sensitive Church decides to use Sex Series to fill empty seats or accelerate growth.

2. Seeker-Sensitive Church picks racy and controversial name for their Sex Series along with racy and controversial sermon titles for each sermon in the series.

3. Seeker-Sensitive Church puts up racy and controversial website for their Sex Series and takes out racy and controversial billboard advertising announcing their racy and controversial Sex Series.

4. Seeker-Sensitive Church simultaneously sends out a press release to the media that talks about 'the controversy' surrounding their racy and controversial Sex Series. (this is controversy that they are creating)

In other words, from beginning to end, Seeker-Sensitive Churches manipulate people and manufacture "controversy" in order to make themselves look brave, bold and counter cultural while making their opponents look prissy and legalistic. All of this is done in order to fill seats.

Here's a great example from Flip Side Church.

Click Here to read the press release that Flipside Church wrote up regarding their Sex sermon series. This story was NOT written by Fox News it was written by Flipside Church. Flipside Church wrote every word of this press release including the headline.

Please note: This press release was purposely written to create controversy. Flipside Church was being provocative and controversial ON PURPOSE so that they could get free media coverage and use the controversy that they generated about their sex series to fill their empty seats.

It's all a big marketing scam.

The Moment of Truth?!

Real Life Fellowship in Corpus Christi, Texas has decided to capitalize on the frenzy surrounding Fox's new shock game show "The Moment of Truth". This is the show where contestants are hooked up to a lie detector and ask the types of questions that can potentially ruin lives, reputations and marriages in exchange for money. Here is a link to a video clip from the show where a woman chooses to destroy her marriage FOR MONEY.

Connecting the Church of Jesus Christ with this show for marketing purposes and filling empty seats is simply indefensible.

Come to Church and Get Gas?

Pleeeeeease come to our church...pretty pleeeeeeease. If you come we'll give you a $10 gas card. That will buy you two and a half gallons of gas. Pleeeeeeeease come to our church.

Seriously, if we were unchurched people living in Owasso we'd hold out until they up'd the ante a bit. Other churches are giving away flat screen T.V.'s and custom built motorcycles. Why should unbelievers "sell out" and "sell themselves short" for a MEASLY gas card? They should "hold out' until this church starts giving away some real merchandise. Unbelievers should write this church and let them know they don't need a gas card they need new cars and better televisions sets. Maybe they need their ride pimped out or need their kitchens remodeled. Come on Owasso First Assembly get serious! If you want to fill seats then you're going to need to cough up the bling. A $10 gas card just ain't relevant enough.

Urinal Evangelism?

Looking for a cutting edge way to market your church? Here's an idea...print your church's name and phone number on urinal screens and then place them in public restrooms around your town. According to the servantevangelism.com this is "pretty close to the first century equivalent of washing feet".

HT: Tony Jones

Ciiiiiiiiiiiiity Church!

This church can hook you up phat.

In all seriousness this is some craziest marketing that we've seen for a church (and we've seen it all).

This is from the same church that brought you the 'Leave Britney Alone' marketing video.